noise shrapnel causes a pulsing headheache. a warm bed 40 miles and 8 time zones away. a scent that sends a shiver down my back. the ashy aftertaste of a stolen cigarette. secrets i keep even from myself, strangled by swarms of snakes. the complex interference patterns of ripples in a secret edy within paintbranch creek. the spatialized sounds of unseen forest animals. the darting movements of tiny creek fish. the soft sensation of silt under my sneakers, worn to a perfect texture by the creek. the sexual connotations of an intense downpour lasting only 5 minutes. the knowledge that nature's rhythms are recapitulated by the body and all rhythms are merely consequences of physical laws. every pleasure slowly kills.